‘True Blood’ recap: Timebomb

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    First things, first. In this episode we found out that Sarah Newlin didn’t actually kill Jason Stackhouse; she just shot him with a paintball gun.
     
    The craziest part about it was that she blamed Jason for their brief, religiously driven affair.  Sure, because it was completely his fault that she kept comparing him to Jesus while she touched his happy parts.
     
    Anyway, Jason eventually leaves her on the side of the road to head after he finds out that his flock is holding his sister, Sookie Stackhouse, hostage. 
     
    Cut to Sookie, who was still trapped in that basement at the beginning of Sunday’s show.  Seconds away from physical violation at Fellowship of the Sun’s church, she is rescued by Godric.
     
    The thing that made use go “WTF?” about her rescue was that after Godric pulled Gabe off the damsel in distress, Gabe pleaded with him like a friend who was about to be stabbed in the back—well, about to have their neck snapped in this case. Once Eric Nortman arrived in the makeshift cell, though, Godric told him to get Sookie out of the church and “spill no blood.” Which made us shout, “Didn’t you just snap homeboy’s neck?! “
     
    That aside, it took Eric and Sookie forever to plot their escape, which is purely for the benefit of the script.  It also gave them a little time to make googley eyes (Bill better come get his woman). By the time they—ok, he—figure out how to get themselves out of there it’s too lat: The cavalry had been called in and Eric was carted off to the altar to be sacrificed.
     
    We’ll get back to them in a bit, but for now, let’s check in on Bill and Lorena.  We all know that one girl that just won’t let her ex-boyfriend go. It gets super annoying when she won’t stop calling or texting him, but there’s nothing more irritating when she holds him hostage in a hotel room.  Some women are just so needy!
     
    It seems Bill Compton is still stuck in a similar predicament after two episodes with his maker Lorena. To get away he smacks her over the head with a plasma screen TV.  Ouch! 
     

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