Augusta reacts to Tiger’s return

    Citizens of Augusta, Georgia, have a lot to say about Tiger Woods coming to town for the Masters next month.

    Tiger has been off the green since November, and reaction to news of his return ranges from violence to lust. The New York Daily News reports that one Augusta dad immediately threatened to take swing at the golf pro if he cuts out of line.

    "There isn’t a respectable parent of a teenage daughter within 10 miles who can feel safe with Tiger Woods coming to town," said Jim Searan, who has two adolescent daughters of his own. "The man is a cheat and a philanderer. If he comes near my kids, I’ll show him a new use for those pretty golf clubs."
    Assuming Tiger won’t go for teens, however, is stylist Sydney Balogh, who hopes to derail the pro-golfer’s recovery from sex addiction.

    "The only thing I know about Tiger Woods is that I’m going to try to date him," she said. "I may not be blond but after looking at the other women he’s been with, I think I stand a good chance."
    Sydney’s not the only one hoping Tiger has a relapse because girls at the Hooter’s in Augusta plan to welcome him with open arms.
    "All the girls are excited for Tiger to come to town," said one waitress. "If he happens to fall off the wagon, he knows where to come."
    Others seem to be a little more protective of the embattled athlete, imploring people to just leave him alone. They feel he’s already been through enough public scrutiny and humiliation and now it’s time to let the man concentrate on the game that made him famous. 

    Meanwhile local business owners are more excited about all the money his visit could mean for commerce in Augusta. 
    "With Tiger making a firm statement, my clients that were on the fence quickly jumped off," saud Jay Norton, whose company rents houses. "This is going to be bigger than the Super Bowl."



    – Sonya Eskridge




    Here’s more:
    Tiger Woods to play at Masters
    Tiger is ‘deeply sorry’
    Tiger to sit out rest of season



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