Chilli talks love, cheating and men

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    She’s been around for a while, but many fans are just getting to know the real Chilli now that her VH1 reality show, “What Chilli Wants” is in its second season.
     
    In addition to being a member of one of the world’s most successful female R&B groups, TLC’s Chilli is a loving mom, savvy businesswoman and determined dater.
     
    A lot of people commented on Chilli’s dating criteria after season one, and the truth is that after looking for love, she remained single. So, Sister 2 Sister caught up with her to find out how her search for Mr. Right is going this time around.
     
    Has she found love? What’s up with her and Floyd Mayweather? Does she have advice for other single women? Find out.
     
    ***

    Tracy: Do you find love on season two?
    Chilli: I find some good things. (laughter) Love takes a while. When you’re mature, it’s rare that you can find love quickly. When you’re young, you don’t really know. You’re just in love with the idea of being in love. So you’re quick to say "I love you." It’s too soon.
     
    Tracy: I get it. We have to tune in to find out. So you do have a Valentine?
    Chilli: (Laughs) My favorite Valentine is my son, Tron. I kind of forgot about Valentine’s Day. I have really good ideas for Valentine’s Day. I’m just creative, and I’m a hopeless romantic anyway. It’s not always about buying the most expensive thing, but there are other great things you can do, too.

    Tracy: So you’re going to plan the evening and tell your Valentine where to take you?
    Chilli: For me, what I’m doing for that person has nothing to do with what they’re doing for me. I’m the type of female, I don’t think Valentine’s Day is just for the girl. It’s for the guy, too. Women should do things for the person they care about, also. Unless you make a plan together to go on a weekend trip or something.
     
    Tracy: So what Valentine’s Day ideas do you have?
    Chilli: I’m thinking… I’m thinking… (laughs)
     
    Tracy: What does your son, Tron, do for you on Valentine’s Day?
    Chilli: Sometimes he might write something to me. I like that a whole lot. We may bake something. It just depends. We may go to a movie. We’re movie buffers. It just depends. We switch up and do different things.
     
    Tracy: Since you mentioned expensive gifts, I have to bring up the Floyd Mayweather thing. Is it normal for him to buy you thousand-dollar items?
    Chilli: That’s not an all-the-time thing. For Floyd, people have to understand one thing about him: He doesn’t have to be a significant other for him to splurge on you. Fourteen thousand dollars is like $400 to him. Everybody’s bank account is different. It just depends on the person’s purse. He’s a giver like that. He loves to shop more than most. He has the money to do it. That’s how he is. I don’t think it was an extra special thing just for me. That’s just Floyd. That’s just how he is. He likes to ball. That’s how he is.

    Tracy: Doesn’t that confuse things?
    Chilli: What could confuse things is if we made the mistake of sleeping together. Which, we’ve never done that. I tell chicks when it’s a platonic relationship, you don’t have sex. You don’t have sex with people you’re not going to have a committed relationship with. Sex should not be the thing to lead you to that commitment. It should be the quality of the person. You should ask a ton of questions. If a man has a problem with that, f&@k him. He don’t have no problem sleeping with you on the first date. Females chicken out with that. We’re afraid he’s going to think this or that. I kinda wanna shake women sometimes.
     
    Tracy: I noticed you don’t have a problem asking guys questions. Don’t you ask a guy about being followed by a P.I. in an upcoming episode?
    Chilli: No, I was telling Tionna that if a relationship really develops, I would ask a guy if he minded ever being followed by a P.I. Women are always sneaking and looking through phones. Guys do it, too. They’re just not as good as we are. (laughter) I don’t snoop in anybody’s things. If we decide to be committed … and you say you’re going to be faithful, then it shouldn’t matter. I feel like your word is one thing, but the proof is in the pudding. So, if you have nothing to hide, then what’s the problem? It’s like a piss test. The same would go for me. I’m saying for me, too. I’m not a cheater. I’ve never cheated a day in my life. That’s not how I’m built. That’s why I’m able to say something like that. People ask, "What about the trust?" What about the trust when you feel you trust him, and you find out he’s cheating on you?
     
    Tracy: Have you hired a P.I. before?
    Chilli: I have done it before.

    Tracy: How many times?
    Chilli: I’m not gonna say all that. I will say that it’s helpful.

    Tracy: So, did you find out something?
    Chilli: I’m not gonna say. (laughter) Look at that show “Cheaters.” Just on CNN a few weeks ago. They had a dude on there talking about a new device to put on another person’s phone. That’s sneaking. I’m putting it out there, and if you tell me you’re not cool with it, then peace. That says something to me. Be with a chick that don’t care, and cheat on her.
     
    Tracy: According to the media, it’s particularly difficult for Black women to find good men. Do you think that’s true, or is it just a woman’s issue, regardless of race?
    Chilli: It’s a woman’s issue. We’re all in this together. I hate when we isolate ourselves out like that. It’s hard for a woman to meet the right guy when she knows exactly how she is and what she’s bringing to the table … good and bad. It’s hard to find a guy because you know exactly what you want and what you need. You go from one person to the next … serial monogamy. Most people are that way. You’re not giving yourself time to learn. What do I need to fix, so I’ll never be with a person like that again? I just need a school with all women. I need one for the dudes, so I can tell them how to act, too. If women would honestly, really just demand more from men… Men today don’t have to court you or be respectful toward you ‘cause there are so many women who will allow them to treat them like sh!t and disrespect.
     
    Tracy: Tionna pointed out that you don’t date many Black men on the show. Assuming you agree, why do you think that is?
    Chilli: That’s the problem a lot of Black women are having. You single yourself out. Women are women and men are men. On my show, some people have something to say about me dating White guys. I don’t know what the big deal is. When you isolate yourself to one race that makes it extremely hard to find a mate. He might not be the same race as you.

    Tracy: Do you have any other advice for single women?
    Chilli: You have to sit still. Work on yourself. Get yourself at the best place you can be with yourself. Address your insecurities. Some of them are never going to go away, but don’t let that overpower you to where you end up settling in a relationship. I think you settle in a house, not in a relationship. You have to work on yourself. I’ve done a lot of soul-searching. I know I’m not perfect. As long as we live, there’s always something new to learn and a way to become a better person.

     

     

    – Tracy L. Scott

     

     

     

    Here’s more: 
    First Look: ‘Chilli’ season 2
    Tionna Smalls fashions lingerie line


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