Chrissy Lampkin proposed to her man Jim Jones, but would you ask your boo to marry you?
Most little girls dream about the day their Prince Charming gets down on knee, opens up a ring box (with a huge diamond inside), and utters the magical question, "[Insert name here], will you marry me?" Those same girls never imagine that years down the line–sometimes decades–they’ll have to be the one making the proposal.
After six years of dating Jim, Chrissy got tired of waiting. She will pop the question to him on the next episode of "Love & Hip Hop," airing tonight at 8 p.m. on VH1. She proposed to him in a room full of people after she did a burlesque dance for him.
Her situation, and her eventual decision, lead S2S wonder how many of our readers would do the same thing. We asked our girls on Facebook* whether they would propose to their man if he was taking too long to wife them before man, God and the state.
Although most of them chose to say it in different ways, the answer from most women was "No." About 80 percent of you, in fact, agreed with Bernice Cotton who very plainly said, "HELL TO THE NAW. CHIVALRY IS NOT DEAD!" Maleigha Sosorealo Sodia said she wouldn’t pop the question either because "that’s his job."
Jeannine Broussard also summed up the general consensus that if he hasn’t put a ring on it, he’s just emotionally not there yet. "No," Jeannine said, "because obviously if he didn’t ask me he’s not ready for marriage," she answered. And one woman suggested that if it’s taken him more than a few years to talk about marriage, you might not be the one for him.
"Usually men know you are the one right away," Kamica Arnold reasoned. "It shouldn’t take years for him to decide if he wants to marry you or if the time is right. If he really loves you, and you are the one, he will not waste too much time."
Kamica even consulted The Good Book for a reason that women shouldn’t be the ones to propose, stating, "[It’s] ‘he who finds a wife finds a good thing.’ It’s not ‘she who finds a husband finds a good thing.’ Folks love remixing the Bible."
An admittedly old-fashioned Maureen Mitchell claimed she’d never propose to her boyfriend. However, that wouldn’t stop her from speaking up on her man dragging his feet to Tiffany & Co. "If he is taking too long to ask me to marry him, it’s because there’s something hindering him from doing so. I’ll let him know my thoughts and if he still refuses to ask, then there’s no need me being there," she said. "The purpose of relationships is to eventually get to that point: to get married."
S2S fan Christie Love thinks Chrissy’s situation might be symptomatic of her skin tone, stating, "[It’s] sad that [Black] women (CHRISSY) have [resorted] to these desperate measures. I say try another race b/c White women, Asian women, Arabic women, etc. … dont have this problem."
Elycia Wimbley, however, disagrees with Christie’s thoughts on what race has to do with the matter. "I know White and Asian women who have asked their husbands to marry them and are very happy," Elycia stated. "I don’t know the statistics, but saying that other races don’t have this ‘problem’ would be false."
Furthermore Elycia believes that traditional gender roles have been altered by modern households. "Times have changed and the way people are being raised has changed. Some men are just clueless nowadays as to how to treat women properly," Elycia elaborated. "They need to be educated. Personally, I would never ask and would also never say ‘yes.’"
"Darling Nikki" was a little hesitant to reject the idea of popping the question herself, however. "It depends on the man and the relationship," she explained. "If he was a dedicated, committed man whom I loved, of course! If he was stubborn, self-centered and immature, I’d probably just give him an ultimatum and if he didn’t respond, I’d move on!"
And there was even one among you who pulled a Chrissy years ago and it seems be working out for her. "I did," Khalila Jones Thomas admitted, adding that she proposed to now-husband on the mega-tron at a basketball game. "He said ‘yes’ and tried every day since then to make sure he is worthy of the feeling I had on that day!!! He even set the date … we got married 2 months later!"
The topic is always open for discussion, though. So, tell us: Would you propose to your man? Tell us why or why not in the comments section below.
*Facebook responses have been edited for better readability.
– Sonya Eskridge