I’ve been seeing this man on and off for two years. Six months into the relationship I found out he was married. We disconnected for a while, but I came back when he convinced me that his marriage was one of connivence not love.
Months, vacations, relocations, and tears later I’m not totally sold on the "arraignment marriage." Though I know for a fact his wife knows about me (we have spoken before), I’m pretty sure she doesn’t care and is continuing to portray this perfect marriage to the public eye. I find myself more worried than ever since I relocated that they may be sleeping together and jealousy rushes through my veins whenever he may miss my call.
You may be reading this saying, "Run, girl! Run!" but I’m in too deep. He plays a role in my young child’s life and has become the companion I’ve always longed for. He tells me if money was no issue he’d leave his job and wake up next to me every day and I believe him when he says this.
I’ve been patient, but I’ve come to my wits end. How do I ask him to leave his wife without "changing the game" on him?
-Fearful of Change
First of all, you should have run within the six months of the relationship when you found out he was married. Think about it: If he cannot keep a commitment to his wife, how would he keep a "commitment" to you? The oldest trick in the book is telling your mistress that you are in your marriage for convenience. So don’t believe that bull crap.
If he loved you that much and wanted to be in the relationship with you and your son, he would have left his wife a long time ago. Men leave their wives every day. I want you to understand that what you are doing is wrong, whether his wife condones it or not. You better really understand that how you get them, is how you lose them. Even if he leaves his wife and marries you, you could be in this same situation a few years from now.
You claim that this guy is the companion that you always dreamed of having. However, you don’t live with this man, and he is still with his wife, so you must not want much.
There should not be any room in your life for part-time lovers. You deserve to be with a man who will love you and be there for you always. Right now, he just has you looking like a fool. The only person that’s benefiting in this situation between you, him and his wife is him. You need to let it go, baby.
Santa Claus isn’t real and neither is your boo. It’s time for you to look out for you and do you! I really hope and pray that you see through this man’s mind-wrecking ways and leave him alone totally.
Tionna Smalls is an TV Personality ("What Chilli Wants") from Brooklyn, New York, and she is the author of Girl, Get Your Mind Right! Buy Tionna’s new book Men Love Abuse on Nook or Kindle, or at Amazon.com. She is also an owner of Loveys accessories boutique in New York.
Have you got a question about your love life for Tionna Smalls? Send your dilemma to TionnaSays@s2smail.com and see what she’s got to say about your situation!