I need advice badly. My kids’ father resents me for having our daughter. He says we agreed we weren’t gonna have anymore kids and I should’ve been on my pills.
I’ve done nothing wrong—not one malicious thing towards him since we been together (since we were 17; now we’re 27). He said that ONE thing was enough for him.
He’s crazy bout our daughter he just have a strong dislike for me. He claims he wasn’t all that happy before her, and when I got pregnant with her that was the straw that broke the camel’s back. But before I got pregnant with her, he was all up my a*s, so that’s bulls#*t.
It’s been threee yrs and he still hasn’t let the resentment go. He’s been horrible to me and only me. Others have done him far worse, but he still befriends them. I need to know what to do when kids are involved. I’m so broken and confused please reply to my email
Dear Babydaddy Drama
Now this story really makes me sad. How dare he resent you for having his daughter. The only thing he should resent is his own penis going in raw to make a child in the first place.
Many boys (not men) believe that it’s the woman’s fault once a child is conceived. They never think about their actions. First of all—this may seem easier said than done—but you have to leave this little boy alone. He’s a clown and he isn’t worthy of you, or any other woman for that matter. I dont understand how you stayed around this long to even deal with his crap.
Girlfriend, it is over with a capital "O" when your mate starts to resent you. What I don’t understand is why does he even resent you. He resents you because you had his daughter–one he claims he loves so much? This man really has some nerve. You know what I think? I don’t even think this is over you having his daughter; I think he simply doesn’t want you anymore and is making you getting pregnant his excuse.
I hate to break it to your lowlife man, but if you have unprotected sex, your woman will get pregnant.
So what happens if you have another baby after this one? He’s gonna want to kill you? You shouldn’t be subject to this madness. This is something that I can tell bothers you daily and it is not right; you really deserve more. I don’t want you to be in a relationship with a man who doesn’t even want to have a family with you. What example is this setting for your daughter? Your daughter will get older and see how he is treating you, and she will feel guilty for even being born.
I have a question for you: Have you tried talking to him about this? How was he brought up as a kid? This question is vital because many people’s views on family start from how they were raised.
[Sidenote: Ladies, before you choose a mate, please find out how this man was raised. This will save you some tears later on down the line. If he was raised by pimps, runnnnn...]
You’ve had a man since your teenage, so maybe it is time now for you to be by yourself, because its not right how he is treating you. You need to part from him so you can be a better mother to your kids and a better woman to yourself. He obviously knows that he can treat you like this and get away with it; this is just crazy. You can’t stay for the kids because this is seriously a dysfunctional relationship.
If you decide to stay, you guys will indeed need counseling individually and as a couple because this is just unhealthy. His resentment will turn into something even more destructive as time goes on and you will lose. I hope you get rid of him but if you dont get that help you guys so desperately need. Please keep me posted!
Tionna Smalls is an TV Personality ("What Chilli Wants") from Brooklyn, New York, and she is the author of Girl, Get Your Mind Right! Buy Tionna’s new book Men Love Abuse on Nook or Kindle, or at Amazon.com. She is also an owner of Loveys accessories boutique in New York.
Have you got a question about your love life for Tionna Smalls? Send your dilemma to TionnaSays@s2smail.com and see what she’s got to say about your situation!