I’m 27 and seeing this guy I really like.
He’s 32 with a great career–not a job! He has his own house, nice car, dresses well and fine. His mom and dad adore me, and I get along great with his family etc….but he has a 5-year-old daughter who I adore.
I don’t date men with kids, but I thought, "whatever it’s just 1 kid". The problem lies with his ex-wife, who is 32 like he is, but is very immature and obviously a bit jealous of our relationship.
She tries to fight me and pick petty arguments with me etc., and I know it kills her that her daughter loves me also. I took [the little girl] to a nail salon to get her nails done (a little mani-pedi) and [the babymama] tried to fight me! Although I should’ve asked first, her actions were unnecessary. My actual problem, Tionna, is I reallllly like him and am starting to fall in love with him. He makes me happy; I can’t explain it, but his ex is really making me just want to end this relationship asap!
And this is the main reason I don’t date anyone with kids —especially since I have none of my own. Tionna, I need to know should I end it with him or just bare the pain of the stress his babymama is causing me? I’m only 27. My life shouldn’t have so much drama! HELP
Help Needed In Queens NY
Dear Help Needed,
Oooooooh girl, he sounds like a keeper. Damn! Ain’t nothing worse than BMD (babymama drama)… I read your letter twice, and I realized that you didn’t mention not one thing about this man.
What is his role in all of this? It is his daughter’s mother, so what has he tried to do to rectify the situation between you and her? Age is nothing but a number when it comes down to BMD. She is mad she’s not with him anymore, and she is doing anything she can do to make you leave him alone. You have to let her know that she can huff and she can puff, but she won’t blow you out of the picture.
My only real concern is what is making her this crazy? I’m hoping he is not still giving her the goods because usually when a woman from a man’s past acts loco, she is still intimate with him in some kind of way. I’m praying that that’s not the situation here. It is time for your man to sit you two down and try to mediate the situation. If he doesn’t do so, this thang right here will not work and, ooh, I want it to work for you.
Now let’s just say that doesn’t work, you may have to get the cops involved. She can’t keep running up on you. She is now being an adult bully, and that right there isn’t cool.
She really needs to slow that down. Man, this whole story disgusts me because it reminds me of my ex-shorty. My God, his babymama was a pure psycho! She used to call my house, my house phone, everything and I used to always ask him if was he dealing with her. He would always say no. Finally, we all met up, and he dissed her for me. Later, he admitted that he was still swinging that wang on her every now and then. It was just a crazy experience, so believe me when I tell you I know how you feel.
Needless to say, I have never dated a man with kids ever since. It is too much drama. I just hope it all works out for you; geesh!
Tionna Smalls is an TV Personality ("What Chilli Wants") from Brooklyn, New York, and she is the author of Girl, Get Your Mind Right! Buy Tionna’s new book Men Love Abuse on Nook or Kindle, or at Amazon.com. She is also an owner of Loveys accessories boutique in New York.
Have you got a question about your love life for Tionna Smalls? Send your dilemma to TionnaSays@s2smail.com and see what she’s got to say about your situation!