I’m a fan and love the relationship advice you give. I was hoping you could lend some advice on my current situation.
I’ve been in an off-and-on situation with a guy for almost three years. It’s basically a sexual situation, but I’ve always liked him and continued to deal with him hoping that he would eventually come around and really want to date me.
Usually we can go months without speaking and eventually one of us will contact the other just to hook up. At one point, he expressed his feelings and desire to build a friendship because he said he really liked hanging out with me.
I’ve never expressed my feelings to him, so I’m sure he thinks I’m fine with the way things are between us and I’ve always been very passive in dealing with him by never demanding more. I never say anything when he stands me up and now I’ve come to the point where I want to let him know how I feel.
I don’t know if I should say something or just let the whole thing go and not deal with him anymore. I could really use your advice on what I should do. Thanks and congratulations on all your success.
Girl, three years is way too long to be messing with a dude you have feelings for. I think it is definitely time for you to tell him how you feel. Communication is the key in this situation. Let him know how you feel, and if he is feeling the same, he will make something happen. If he isn’t feeling you, it may go bad. Be ready for the end results. He expressed his feelings for you before so there shouldn’t be a problem.
I remember when my fiancé and I just started dating. We were kicking it and having sex for a while when one day he was on the phone and he referred to me as his friend. I was looking around because I was very confused on who his friend was. When he got off the phone, I approached him about the "friend" title and he told me he wasn’t ready for a girlfriend. Needless to say, I had left him alone and he came back and made me his woman. It was a great experience.
If your story doesn’t end the way mine did, don’t sweat it. You have to lose to win, and if you lose him for telling him what’s real in your heart, there will be another man for you. Don’t dwell on him and definitely stop boning him! Yes doll, #savethef*ck!
I really hope it works out for you babes.
Tionna Smalls is an TV Personality ("What Chilli Wants") from Brooklyn, New York, and she is the author of Girl, Get Your Mind Right! Buy Tionna’s new book Men Love Abuse on Nook or Kindle, or at Amazon.com. She is also an owner of Loveys accessories boutique in New York.
Have you got a question about your love life for Tionna Smalls? Send your dilemma to TionnaSays@s2smail.com and see what she’s got to say about your situation!