Tionna Says: Don’t settle for less

    Dear Tionna,

    I rushed into my last few relationships, so the casual dating/getting-to-know-you type of scene is fairly new to me.

    The guy I am dating is great! All the characteristics I prefer in a man, except that his talk about all things he wants to do but doesn’t act on them.  Now if I’m being impatient, let me know.

    We’ve only been dating for two months, and most of that time he has been out of town because of his job. His career is very demanding. But now that he is back in town, all the hype has not been lived up to. Our romantic dinner he promised was two plates in front of the TV and ESPN with Moscato. Granted I love Moscato, but that’s not my idea of a romantic evening.

    While he was out of town he kept thanking me for my patience with him because of his schedule and that it has been a problem in the past for most to deal with. I have a busy schedule too, but when I am not busy, I make time for who I’m with. I am unsure if my feelings of "not being special" are because I have dated guys who were all over me from the beginning and we moved fast…or if he really just has not clue…or if he likes to take his time.

    I like how I feel when we are together, but I just wish it was more time spent together. Should I be concerned that there is another woman? I want to give this a fighting chance because to me, he is the epitome of the Black man. He’s super-intelligent, giving, family-oriented, thoughtful, handsome and so much more already to me. Let me know if I’m jumping the gun and not giving this a fair shot.

    Thanks Tionna!






    Dear Trains,

    Ughhhhhhh girl, he sounds like a great guy, but a romantic dinner in front of the TV with some Moscato. Girllllll! I could see if he had your favorite movie on or The Notebook or something, but ESPN?

    Hmm, he sounds like a great guy, but he is obviously misinformed about women and the psyche of women. We like a great guy, but we like a man who can get us hot from just looking at us. Your dude sounds like he is a average guy who is very ok with being average.

    There isn’t anything wrong with that, but for the long-term that could get reckless if you are not attracted to that. I always said boring was good, so that is not the problem. The main problem is the fact that he doesn’t keep his word. I hate a man who doesn’t keep his word. That is a huge deal breaker for me because all a man has is his word and his balls.

    I think it’s time to have a conversation with him and let him know how you feel when he promises things and later on do not act on them. Let him know that although you may catch the Knicks game a time or two, that does not mean you want to watch that when you are trying to get your romance on.

    As far as him being busy, well that is a whole other story. We are all busy, but we make time for those we choose to make time for. I run three businesses and write article, and I still manage to hit my boo up and spend time with him. So if he wants you, he has to go hard. A relationship can only work for the long-term if the man is more into you than you are into him. Don’t allow the Black man epidemic to make you to settle. However, if he is the man that you say he is, he’s a keeper and you should work it out. Hit me back up to let me know how it worked for you.







    Tionna Smalls is an TV Personality ("What Chilli Wants") from Brooklyn, New York, and she is the author of Girl, Get Your Mind Right! Buy Tionna’s new book Men Love Abuse on Nook or Kindle, or at Amazon.com. She is also an owner of Loveys accessories boutique in New York.


    Have you got a question about your love life for Tionna Smalls? Send your dilemma to TionnaSays@s2smail.com and see what she’s got to say about your situation!

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