Evelyn Lozada faced her demons to become a better person on "Iyanla Vanzant: Fix My Life."
The "Basketball Wives" star sat down with the OWN life coach to uncover the real reason she displayed out-of-control behavior on the hit reality series. Before she could do any significant work though, Iyanla had to get her to own up to the fact that she has "been rewarded for being out of order and a thug among woman."
That included shutting out one of her closest friends, Jennifer Williams, and throwing a full bottle of wine (and a plate) at her "Basketball Wives" co-star Kenya Bell.
Although she’s not proud of that incident, Evelyn said that she was caught up in the moment and even admitted to being angry before she got to dinner that night. When the topic of she said/she said came up, Evelyn recalls things escalating very quickly.
"[I was] going from 0 to 10. I always say I don’t have a medium," said Evelyn, who revealed that this is just how things were in her world. "That’s how every woman in my family dealt with conflict. We didn’t sit down and do this! That’s how my life was. That’s how I grew up.
Evelyn said, however, that reaching such lofty heights has only compounded the problem for her.
"Being the most successful one out of everyone [in my family] and just being put on this platform and this pedestal, it’s just a lot of pressure. I just want to do good," she said, adding that she feels as though she’s constantly in defense mode. "I don’t trust anybody. So many things have happened in my life, just feeling stabbed in the back, taken advantage of."
The reality star has stated in the past that her wake-up call came when her husband’s daughters revealed that they found Evelyn’s behavior on the show, not only acceptable, but something to emulate. She wanted to apologize to the girls for that.
"I’m sorry for being a bad example," said Evelyn. "I haven’t always handled things the right way and I don’t want you guys to do what I’ve done. So I am here to tell you that I am sorry for doing that. I want your forgiveness."
Iyanla also touched on Evelyn’s tumultuous relationship with Chad Johnson. The pair was still married when during the filming of "Fix My life," and Iyanla said she knew something was wrong in their union.
Many people have questioned whether Evelyn was in an open relationship after she told Chad on "Basketball Wives" that she would want him to be open about any marital indiscretions he might have. While many took that as her giving Chad permission to cheat, Evelyn said that was not the case.
"No, absolutely not. I just want to know. Am I wrong for wanting to know?" questioned Evelyn, stating that cheating is, in fact, a deal breaker for her. "Our relationship would be over."
Still, she admitted that she feared they would "end up divorced like everyone else."
Iylanla revisited Evelyn after the reality star’s worst fear came true after an incident in which Chad allegedly head-butted her in their driveway. The domestic dispute was sparked by Evelyn finding a receipt for a box of condoms that Chad had purchased.
Evelyn admitted that she saw signs of trouble in her marriage, but she chose to ignore them because her focus was on protecting Chad. She also thought that sticking by Chad would prove that she was "good enough to marry" him
While part 1 was taped in the home Chad, part 2 had to be taped in another location because she hasn’t been back to her and Chad’s home since their domestic incident. That meant she left behind a closet full of expensive clothes and shoes. Unlike the first segment, though she was no longer concerned with losing everything.
She also went into detail about the night she claims that Chad attacked her.
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