Liza Morales penned a lengthy letter about what it was like for her to deal with Lamar Odom abandoning her only to turn around and marry a Kardashian.
Seeing your ex move on can be tough. But when it’s an ex-fiancé that you have children with, finding out that they’re marrying someone else is devastating.
It’s safe to say that Liza was shocked when she found out that her ex Lamar Odom was marrying Khloé Kardashian just a month after meeting her. For Liza it was especially hard to take given the fact that she and Lamar had been together for more than a decade before he left her. He exited her life after the death of their youngest son and swiftly moved onto Khloé.
Although Liza and Lamar had been engaged, she stated in a letter to The Daily Beast that he always had a “not-now” attitude about getting married to her. As she recalls, he had a seemingly unending list of reasons that they had to hold of on becoming man and wife.
Liza has been very vocal about the state of her relationship with Lamar, and she even opened up to his aunt on the now-cancelled “Starter Wives Confidential.” But apparently she’s still got a lot more to say in the letter, which we’ve excerpted below:
“I don’t think I’ll forget the tight knot I felt in the pit of my stomach the morning I received the text message with three simple words on the screen. It read “I’m getting married” and it was from the man I’d spent more than 10 years of my life with. Years that included us getting engaged in 2000 and becoming parents to one daughter and two sons. Yet not long after our separation Lamar Odom was getting married to Khloe Kardashian, a woman he’d met four weeks before. How could the man who’d constantly given me reason after reason for why we couldn’t get married just yet now be ready to tie the knot so quickly? There aren’t words to explain how I felt that day.
“I met Lamar in the 9th grade in Queens, New York, and was completely taken in by his wit, charm, and that devastating smile he so easily flashed at anyone he met. We dated from the 11th grade on and shared a tight bond due to a lot of things, including the fact that we both were products of broken homes.
“Though my parents weren’t together, I did have a very close relationship with my father, whom I loved dearly and consider my hero. He worked very hard to make sure I could attend Catholic school and have everything I needed. But when I started dating Lamar that all changed. My father is Puerto Rican and he didn’t approve of me dating a black man. His small mind and small thinking ended the relationship with my dad. I wanted a life with Lamar and needed my family to support that. The next 10 years would be an amazing journey filled with many ups and down but Lamar and I were creating the family we’d both always dreamed of. Or so I thought.
“We talked about marriage a lot during those days but Lamar would always tell me that NBA marriages never lasted. He’d point to Shaquille O’Neal’s marriage ending or Dwayne Wade’s marriage ending as examples of why we should wait until he retired to tie the knot. He told me he wanted to leave the game early and then the timing would be perfect for us. I listened to the many reasons why we weren’t married yet and believed them, knowing deep inside something wasn’t right. And then I slowly morphed into the girl I promised myself I’d never become, the girl who stayed long after she knew she shouldn’t. Truth is, I wanted that fairy tale so badly that I couldn’t bear to walk away from that life or take my children away from the comfort and security of a two-parent home.
“I struggled to deal with all the groupies around him and with whatever else that was going on and just stayed put. My denial came to an abrupt end in 2006 after the death of Jayden. Lamar and I never really talked about our loss, which I know wasn’t healthy and also meant our relationship would never last. It couldn’t. I found out soon after that he’d had a long-term relationship with another woman—a relationship he said he’d end but he didn’t—and that was that.
“We kept things cordial for the children’s sake after the breakup, but that changed when he married Khloe. Now we only communicate through third parties and lawyers, which I regret deeply since it is exactly what we each experienced as children and said we wouldn’t do to our kids. I’ve only met Khloe once, at my request since she is my children’s stepmother and I felt it was important to get a sense of her and what she’s like around my children. It was a very pleasant meeting, she gave me a hug so I’m happy it happened. Though some frown upon my decision to do a reality show, I agreed to be a part of “Starter Wives” so I could tell my own story of how things unfolded after Lamar married Khloe. We weren’t really together so I didn’t fall apart as many have suggested. I’ve have to deal with a lot of tabloid lies as the result of all the attention Lamar gets since he’s married to someone so famous…
“As I continue to move on with my life, it can be difficult to avoid hearing about the Kardashians day in and day out. But I do what I can to ignore the constant chatter and I try to keep it from the kids as well so they can have a life that is as normal as possible. I am hopeful that one day I will have a cordial relationship again with Lamar, but until then I have to think of myself and the future I’d like to have given that I’m still in my early 30’s.
“I know Lamar wasn’t that happy with the show but it’s helping me move on with my life by getting my truth out there and that’s what’s important.”
The reality TV star added that she is going back to school to get her degree and one day hopes to create a line of skin care products. Of course Liza is also focusing on her kids, asserting that big part of the reason she did “Starter Wives Cofidential was to show her daughter that there is life after everything seems to fall apart in your world. Other than that, Liza said that she’s looking forward to finding love with the right man and walking down the aisle with him.