Tami Roman decided to clarify statements she expressed in the season premier of “Basketball Wives” that some interpreted as her encouraging a battered woman to stay with her abuser.
In the season 5 opener, Tami and her co-stars were discussing Evelyn Lozada’s split from ex-husband Chad Johnson that followed an incident that left her with a head injury.
Tami’s comments seemed to support Evelyn giving Chad another chance, but she told fellow VH1 reality star Sharon Carpenter that it’s not quite that simple.
“The way it actually went was, expressing to her that if they were going to continue to be together—if they did in fact love each other and feel that the relationship could work—suggested that they go through counseling individually and come back and work on it together, as a couple, as a unit if they feel that their relationship was worth saving,” said Tami who pointed out that the mention of seeking professional help wasn’t included in the episode.
However, Tami didn’t backpedal from her earlier statement that some abusers might be able to earn a second chance.
“I still firmly believe that,” she said. “I think in all relationships things do happen and sometimes things go to the left, but nobody in America was there with them except Evelyn and Chad. We don’t know how it started. We just know how it transpired. Maybe Chad wasn’t the man that Evelyn thought he was at the time that they got married, but that doesn’t mean that he can’t grow and evolve to be that man within time and that’s what I was saying.”
Tami received some criticism from those who disagreed with her advice. One VH1.com commenter wrote: “Tami is not a good advice giver. I believe [in] second chances also but I would never tell any one who I call a good friend or anybody period who has been physically harmed to give the [person] who put their life in danger another chance.”
As a victim of abuse herself, Tami reiterated that she doesn’t condone abuse, but she also recognized that leaving a bad relationship isn’t always easy.
“I don’t condone a man putting his hands on a woman… I’ve been an abused individual as well. Definitely though, if there is some validity to the love: children are involved; families are involved. There are a lot of facets within a relationship and within a marriage and if those things are worth saving, take the time apart. Do what needs to be done and come back together and try to make it work,” said Tami who is all for second chances, but won’t go farther than that.
“Now, when you get back together and if he busts you upside your head with a frying pan, then now you need to go ’cause that would be a third chance and he’s not warranted that,” she said.
Watch Tami and Sharon below.
Tami imitates Shaunie O’Neal below watch.