After watching Single Ladies on Monday night, S2S wonders how long you would wait for a ring.
While Monica, Keyshia Cole and two out of three Kardashian sisters make it seem like getting a man to propose is as easy as waking up, many women find themselves in the unenviable position of wondering where their relationships are going.
Whether you’re in a serious relationship, playing the field or straight-up single (loving it or not), lots of unattached women envision themselves getting hitched. In Single Ladies, it took Val five years to ask her man whether he had any plans to put a ring on it. The answer, viewers found out, was that he didn’t…at least not with her.
But it brought another question to mind: Who’s waiting five years to find out if their love has a future?! Better yet, how long are you waiting for a ring? S2S asked our fans on Facebook. Here’s what you told us.
We’ve already established that most of you won’t get so desperate for a husband that you’ll pull a "Chrissy" and propose. On the flip side, most of the ladies who responded aren’t giving their men long to make a life-long commitment.
Jasmine Armstrong was a little more pragmatic about it, and she set some conditions on how long she’ll wait around. "If i’m in a relationship at age 25, I’ll wait for maybe 5 years," she explained.
Carol Johnson couldn’t believe that answer, but her ETA on a proposal wasn’t that much shorter. "Five years?" she asked. "[Three]…m-a-y-b-e 4! After that, one of them just wants to hang or have fun with benefits without being ‘tied down!’"
For the majority of respondents, three years was way too long without the mention of matrimony. Rather they feel that their men need to get down on one knee in a year. Even if he hasn’t popped the question by that time, many of you expected that marriage should have at least been discussed.
"Within the first year you all should have had a talk about marriage not necessarily about if [you will] marry each other but marriage in general," Sheri Carter reasoned, before breaking down her timeline of how things should progress. "You know within the second year if u wanna marry someone so for me, 3 yrs."
Sabrina C. Williams isn’t as patient about jumping the broom, and she’s operating on an excelerated schedule. "OMG! [One] yr. is long enough! you know in the first 6mos if you want to be with him and the next 6mos if you wanna STAY w/him!" She explained. "Everything should be wrapped up in 2yrs! Engagement, Wedding and ALL!"
And Kali Lynn co-signed on that, writing, "[One] year is long enough to know if you wanna marry someone .. Maybe 2 … If nothing happens after 2 then its time to keep it pushing"
Genee Holmes, time saver that she is, thinks it would be wise for women to know where a potential beau stands before she gets too attached. It’s a terribly efficient solution that could save you some hurt feelings in the future.
"If the subject of marriage hasn’t come up within 3 yrs of a relationship, I’d begin to wonder if I’m wasting my time," she chimed in. "Honestly, before you commit to a relationship, you both should already know how each feels about that subject prior to the bond ya’ll share."
Maybe Kali, Genee and Sabrina are onto something. Time is a precious commodity and no one likes wasting their time waiting on something that at least one of you knows will never happen.
Damion Leonard was kind enough to offer up a man’s perspective on getting married. He reveaeled that although a man doesn’t know within 15 seconds whether he wants to spend his life with a woman, it doesn’t take him five years to figure it out either.
"A guy knows in 3 weeks whether he can be married to a girl or not," Damion stated, adding that ladies shouldn’t expect a proposal in a matter of weeks. "I’d say a year or 2 to answer your question. But have very limited amounts of intimacy that does not lead to sex. So U can really get to know each other internally."
Sherrell Frazier admitted that she learned her lesson the hard way. "I will wait 2 [years]," she wrote. "I been with someone for 10years and he never asked." Fortunately for her, when she sent her ex-boyfriend packing, she found someone who couldn’t wait to make her his wife. "I got someone that appreciates me and I will be getting married next year," Sherrell reported.
Sadly things didn’t work out quite so well for Suzette Grey, who said, "I waited nearly 8 and we eventually broke up because it was never going to happen, I’d never wait that long again!"
Of course, for Amira Lamb this discussion is strictly hypothetical because as she puts it, "I don’t wait for rings."
— Sonya Eskridge