LaLa Anthony is looking back on how she learned the hard lesson that love is not control after surviving an abusive relationship.
An abusive relationship doesn’t always leave physical scars. Often times it comes in the way that you treat one another and speak to one another. When LaLa dropped by “Sway In The Morning” to promote The Love Playbook, she shared that she was in a terribly abusive relationship before she met Carmello and she wasn’t necessarily aware of it at first.
“Yes, dysfunctional abusive; verbally abusive. Not physically but I mean, it’s abuse in anyway. And very controlling,” LaLa told Sway.
“You know and it was my first love and I felt like he was controlling me because he loved me and that’s how he’s showing me that he loved me,” she added, explaining her initial misunderstanding. “It was later on that I realized that was completely wrong and that’s a message I want to get out to young women out there. That’s not love.”
It wasn’t until things got really volatile that she began to snap out of her beliefe that her ex-boyfriend’s behavior was normal. It wasn’t until her ex-beau began physically taking out his nearly constant anger that she realized something was wrong.
“Throwing plates of food at me. Breaking glasses. Always being really angry and upset,” LaLa said, rattling off how bad things were in the relationship at its lowest point. “I was like, ‘This can’t be love.’ Love shouldn’t feel like this. I would tell myself that and continue to stay. It could be the smallest thing–that could be your breaking point.”
That’s when LaLa reached out to one of her loved ones for help, even though she hadn’t spoken to them for some time. Another sign of an abusive relationship is that a victim will be isolated from most other people in their lives. However, when LaLa knew it was time to leave, she went right to her father.
“I remember calling my dad like, ‘Dad, I need you to come and get me.’ I hadn’t even talked to my dad because I had isolated anyone who wasn’t a fan of the relationship. Anyone that didn’t say anything good, I didn’t want to talk to them,” said LaLa. “Literally, my dad just got in the car and drove up there to come pick me up. It’s a defining moment to my life that I’ll never forget.”
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